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Modesto family hopes the tragic suicide death of their son can help save others

Modesto Bee - 10/21/2020

Oct. 21--Mitchell Brownlee was only 21 when the Modesto native took his own life in 2016.

"I remember how shocked we were when we received the phone call about Mitchell," said his mother, Denise Brownlee, "We didn't see any red flags."

Mitchell was a 2013 graduate of Downey High School, the much-loved big brother to four siblings. He landed his dream job in the highly competitive nuclear power training program in the U.S. Navy in South Carolina.

Then things began to unravel.

He didn't have a history of mental illness but incurred a series of stressful events, including the intense pressure of his Navy training, surviving a serious motorcycle crash and the death of a good friend from complications of a different motorcycle accident while riding alongside Mitchell.

"We want to be able to say, 'It was this thing,'" said Denise, holding back tears." But the reality is, it was the perfect storm of things that happened."

Mitchell's death is representative of the public health crisis of youth suicide. Over the past two decades, youth suicide and mental illness rates have been climbing nationwide, and things seem to be getting worse with COVID-19.

This year in Stanislaus County, the number of youth hospitalized for contemplating or attempting suicide has increased by more than 20%, compared to 2019. The county has zero inpatient psychiatric beds to care for the kids.

With the pandemic, more Americans of all ages are struggling with their mental health due to the social isolation, economic insecurities, health threats and the uncertainty. Mental health experts fear that COVID-19 and its aftermath may precipitate a surge in suicides.

Mitchell Brownlee's story

The Brownlees live on a tree-lined cul-de-sac in a beautiful house adorned with pumpkins and festive, "not-so-scary" Halloween decorations. Denise is a transitional kindergarten teacher and Lincoln is a real estate agent. Their surviving children are Hannah, 21, who lives in Utah, and three boys, Jackson, 16, Samuel, 15, and Bennett, 12. The Brownlees also recently became guardians of a boy who was Denise's student and his little brother, who lost both parents in a series of tragedies.

The family is picturesque, but their pain from losing Mitchell is palpable.

"Mitchell was a very big-hearted person, with a larger-than-life personality, super smart, funny and handsome, the whole package," said Lincoln Brownlee.

Mitchell loved kids and would dress in uniform to read to his mother's TK class. He babysat for parents whose partners were deployed. Lincoln described him as the "hero big brother," who was adored by his younger siblings.

"Mitchell was my best friend," said Hannah, who was 17 when he died, "We had a close relationship like no one else I know."

She said what she misses most is his laugh and talking for hours. He never mentioned taking his own life until the night before he died, when they had an emotional phone call while he was in South Carolina.

Hannah said Mitchell was sobbing and told her in case he never had a chance to tell her again that he would always choose her as his best friend. She recalled thinking, "Why wouldn't he have another chance" and then she became worried about him killing himself and told her parents.

Before the family could contact someone to help him, Mitchell shot himself.

"This is one of the biggest regrets of my life," said Hannah, "I don't know if it would've mattered but I didn't say (anything) to him."

The younger boys declined talking, but Hannah said they all miss him every day.

"I push myself to live the life I've been given," Hannah said, "I live my life for him and I live the life that he didn't get to live."

County youth in crisis

Like many youth in crisis, Mitchell gave few warning signs in time for anyone to help him.

Mental health professionals are worried that distressed youth may not be reaching out for timely help, while the pandemic has them isolated at home.

However, since March, the demand for youth crisis mental health care in Stanislaus County has increased, as have calls to the county's crisis response team and warm line, as well as to the national suicide lifeline.

"We know people are struggling during the pandemic, and we're especially worried for kids with being out of school and their usual support," said Ruben Imperial, director of Stanislaus County Behavioral Health and Recovery Services.

From May through September, there have been 19,826 calls for county mental health help, compared to 13,583 in the same period in 2019, a 46% increase.

Imperial said they have been promoting the access lines and he's glad to see that more people are calling.

"At the moment, there's an increase in emergency demand," said Dr. Bernardo Mora, child psychiatrist and BHRS medical director. "It's a trend that's mirrored around the country."

Mora said county youth in crisis are presenting in greater distress and more have needed psychiatric hospitalization.

In the first six months of the pandemic, from March through August, 599 children and teens younger than 18 sought crisis services and 327 required inpatient care. Nearly 90% of hospitalizations were due to suicidality, which include suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts. Over the comparable six-month period in 2019, 698 youth sought crisis care but fewer than one-third required hospitalization for suicidality.

In Stanislaus County, on average, a resident dies by suicide every week. In 2016 , the last year with available data, 55 people took their own lives. Suicide data from more recent years is still undergoing validation.

The county doesn't release age details when there are so few cases, because of the potential loss of confidentiality. However in 2020, three teens are known publicly to have died by suicide, including two girls in a double suicide in Oakdale and a 14-year-old boy in Ceres reported on social media.

Death by suicide among young people, ages 10 to 24, has been climbing since 2007 in the U.S., reaching rates of 10.6 per 100,000 persons. In 2017, it became the second leading cause of death in that age group, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, CDC.

Researchers are puzzled about the cause of the rising suicide rates. Although multiple contributors have been discussed, including changing social structures, bullying, social media, higher rates of depression and easy access to firearms, no clear reasons have been identified.

The pandemic has compounded the mental health and suicide risks with loss of school supports and the COVID-19 mitigation efforts such as stay-at-home directives, as well as personal and family stressors, according to multiple researchers and the CDC. A rise in suicides has been observed after major disasters, including the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic.

Although suicide is rare among children ages 5 to 12, the rate for young Black children is nearly three times that of their white peers. Traditionally suicide rates are higher for whites than Blacks in all age groups. Researchers are working to untangle the causes for the racial disparities, as well as to identify interventions for all youth.

Among military personnel, suicide is the second leading cause of death. Many factors contribute to the risks, including exposure to combat, emotional distress, post traumatic stress disorder, isolation from loved ones and easy access to firearms. Veterans have a greater risk for suicide than their civilian peers.

Although limited public data are available, suicide rates climbed 20% among military personnel during the pandemic attributed to the added "stress on an already strained force," according to a report in Time magazine.

Help is available

Denise Brownlee said they learned after Mitchell's death that he had unsuccessfully tried to connect with a mental health professional, but had not sought care from the military due to fear of jeopardizing his coveted position.

"In some ways, we feel like the military let our son down," said Denise, "And, at the same time, we're thankful for so many things we've gotten from the military."

The Brownlee family promptly sought help for coping with the loss of Mitchell, including military resources, friends and family and Jessica's House grief support groups in Turlock.

They've been amazing," said Denise about Jessica's House. "The support they provide is understanding, thoughtful and kind."

She encouraged families struggling with grief to try multiple resources to find what works best for them, as not all programs fit individual needs.

Lincoln Brownlee said they consciously cemented their bond as a couple, which helped them to be strong for themselves and their younger children. He also said they took family mental health days and didn't send the kids to school or go to work on days when their grief was heavy.

Schools are often a major resource for distressed students, including the support of friends, trusted teachers, staff and counselors. During distance learning, most districts in the county have continued to offer counseling and mental health services, though primarily virtual.

Another school tool for prevention of youth suicide is including suicide hotline numbers on student ID cards, as required by California law. However, not all districts have issued ID cards during distance learning.

The Brownlees talk openly about their son's death in part to help remove the stigma tagged to mental illness and suicide. They emphasized that suicide is not something to be ashamed of or embarrassed by, but not everyone understands that.

"Mitchell has a whole, rich novel's worth of life and stories and it wasn't long as we wanted," said Denise, "But the way it ended doesn't define his life."

Lincoln added for anyone considering ending their life, "You're not doing anybody any favors by doing that... Please ask for help, people want you in their lives."

Suicide risk factors and warning signs

Risk factors for suicidal actions include a history of mental illness, abuse of alcohol or drugs, psychological trauma, a family history of suicide, serious or chronic medical conditions, a recent tragedy or loss and male gender. Women have more suicide attempts but men are four times more likely to die from their suicidal actions.

The National Alliance for Mental Illness, a grassroots organization to help raise awareness, lists the following as warning signs for suicidal behaviors:

-- Aggressive behavior

-- Withdrawal from friends, family and community

-- Dramatic mood swings

-- Impulsive or reckless behavior

-- Increased alcohol and drug use

-- Purchasing a gun, collecting pills or other means for causing harm

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Giving away possessions

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Saying goodbye to friends and family

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Talking about suicide or feeling hopeless

Resources

If you or someone you know is considering harming themselves, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 and the crisis text line is 741741. If danger is imminent, dial 9-1-1.

Stanislaus County BHRS suicide prevention services are available 24/7, including local access to a community response team at 209-558-4600, and a warm line at 209-558-4600, which offers peer support for anyone struggling, but not in crisis. Additional information can be found at http://www.stancounty.com/bhrs/suicide-prevention.shtm

Information about Jessica's House grief support groups can be found at https://www.jessicashouse.org/ or calling 209-250-5395

For resources for survivors of military personnel loss to suicide, contact the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) at 1-800-959-8277 or https://www.taps.org.

This story was produced with financial support from The Stanislaus County Office of Education and the Stanislaus Community Foundation, along with the GroundTruth Project's Report for America initiative. The Modesto Bee maintains full editorial control of this work.

To help fund The Bee's children's health and economic development reporters with Report for America, go to bitly.com/ModbeeRFA

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